Series 3 - episode 2 - Mad props
I’m coming to the end of ten days in my home office, sleeping on the day bed in the corner, rolling over to finish Radical Help in the morning, sitting at my desk to hop onto Discord around lunchtime and check out what’s going on with work. That’s right, it’s covid isolation! The things we do for love.
The end-of-year wrap up emails have started coming in just as I’ve been thinking about this sentence on our website: “Our primary contribution to the future we want to live in is to work alongside organisations in the fields of design, technology and storytelling.”
We could probably write hundreds or thousands of words about ‘the future we want to live in’, maybe it’s enough to say for the moment that Simon Kuper writing about Paris feeling optimistic made me feel wildly jealous. I was 22 when the coalition government showed up and I’m sick of everything feeling like it.just.gets.worse. But I’ll save that for another day.
Instead the thing that has been on my mind in amongst my reading material and my general soppiness and these end-of-year reflections is relationships, how we show up in them and what that signifies for the future we’re pushing towards.
As an example. Eliot and I have a standing meeting in our calendars every fortnight. It’s called ‘Looking back, and looking forward (Retro)’. When we started doing retros, just the two of us, we had three columns - Start, Stop, Continue. And then one day we added ‘Feelings’, and now that’s the only column that gets used. As co-directors we look after each other, hold each other to account, deliver the compassion that perhaps we don’t give to ourselves. I have no norms for a co-founder relationship, so every day we are shaping it and how we want it to feel and be. And that gives me hope of all the other possible forms of relationship that could exist in the world if we prioritised compassion and honesty over… well, over a lot of other things.
A relationship full of abundance, generosity and a good dose of keeping ourselves honest.
Which we will keep on attempting to embody when we interact with our co-workers, colleagues, clients, suppliers, customers and everyone else showing up every day trying to do a decent job.
So to everyone that’s held us to account this year
Or reposted something
Or commented on LinkedIn
Or got one of these emails
Or taken us for coffee
Or made us lunch
Or bought us a pint
Or hung out in Discord
Or sent some work our way
Or done some work with us
Maybe next year we’ll get it together to have some nice studio Christmas cards done and be able to express our gratitude to friends and colleagues individually. For now, I reckon you know who you are. Thank you.
Finally, the work is not the only way to pay stuff forwards - the money helps, too. We’re making some charity donations to the tune of 1% of this year’s turnover. More on that next year. In the meantime: hope you get some time off in the next few weeks. Happy new year.
AG
Series 3 - episode 1 - Fuck it, write it.
It’s been ages, sorry about that. Appears we have been starting a real company. So here is another meta-talk-about-writing-about-the-writing weeknote which is obviously just me talking about my feels. Hey ho.
Right now I’m supposed to be pulling together a list of blog posts that have been burning a hole in my head for - shit - a decade. But when I was looking at the folder I’m pulling together I saw two Google Docs, Series 1 - What is this thing? and Series 2 - Lets go.
… and I thought nah. Let’s talk first. I’ll avoid the hard thing for just another day.
So this is Series 3 - Make sure the ground keeps getting further away.
I just checked the last time I sent a message. It was June 12th. I turned 39 three days later. I never write that down and never say it in rooms at work. A career of being one the youngest in the room has taught me to not mention it in case you get ignored based on your age.
The last few years have been about being one of the older ones now - fewer people to look up to has both benefits and pains. It metaphorically clears a space to run into.
Managing self doubt about running into the space is 80% of the effort. The last 20% of effort is about using that sense of freedom to say and do something you believe.
We’ve been working on writing down what we think. Doing that has been building a huge sense of self confidence within me to talk about what we do, who we are, what motivates us.
Which brings me back to blog posts. I want to write and say the things that probably, undoubtedly, more than likely are the underlying issue. It reminds me of the abilene paradox. That saying things we probably all agree but haven’t said yet takes courage. We keep cycling back to courage.
We’ve been working with Conor Delahunty on brand. Writing pithy statements about nuanced realities of life makes me want to be sick. But having someone guide us through it is really helpful. The mad irony is we do this for other people all the time. Doing it for yourself is hard af. This blogpost by Camilla Petty has helped. The website isn’t really for you. And I can’t control what you think. So I just need to be honest and proud.
Anyway - we wrote a document called ’fuck it, just write it”. It is a long list of things Anna and/or I feel or believe based on our collective experience of doing this kind of work for a while. The courageous thing to do is publish it. I’m not there yet. But we are getting there.
We also started a risk register like proper grown ups. We are going to run a brain trust with some trusted folks to get their “feedback” - but let’s be honest - get their emotional support. Being small and scrappy is exhausting some days.
If you’re so inclined. Request access and leave your feedback. We’d appreciate it.
And so we circle back. 80% of the effort is managing self doubt. And that is why I’m really writing this down and emailing you. Just to say this stuff out loud and hope you smile and nod back.
Anyway - this has been a long winded way of saying we launched a new website.
Check it out. Share with your friends. Or more ideally. Share it with people who have deep pockets and good ideas they need help with.
Peace.
EF
Series 2 - Episode 3 - We good?
It’s been a long while, I shouldn’t have left you. But I did. Things around here are starting to look and feel… stable. That’s new. What is this funny feeling? Is it the idea that death isn’t impending. That we will definitely exist in 6 months time. Well hello there feeling. I might just enjoy this for a moment. Take a look at the plants, smile at the good people and then breathe. Yes boss. That’s been an adventure. I liked doing it together. Let’s keep going.
Had a session with Georg Fasching where we discussed how to avoid the standard traps of agency life. I’ve realised I’m interested in the work, and the people i’m working with. The vehicle is just the vehicle. In fact, it’s not a vehicle. It’s an organism. Which is just the people. Our relationships, norms and tools. I’m naturally good with the relationships. The norms and tools. Christ. Thought I was better than I am. Shout out to all the good delivery people I didn’t realise I depended on quite so much. Love you. You dunno what you got till it’s gone.
Timesheets and utilisation is a standard measurement for agencies - how much time is anyone working on a client project. It feels like a terrible measure of success. Quality of work, how I feel and cashflow are really what I’m aiming for. But having something a little simpler to track and predict would make my cortisol levels drop a touch. Outcomes are great. But everything isn’t a spreadsheet. Kickbacks and financial incentive structures always feel…dirty? Or too powerful. Or something I can’t quite figure out yet.
I’ve read a couple of times about not getting stuck in the trap between being a partnership that works and an agency that is self-sustaining. That the space between those is the trap of continuous almost death that you want to avoid.
I can see that being true if you promise people (inflated?) wages and then build an payroll cost you just have to hit. But. Yeah. No? Not that?
What if the mastery looks more like a film production house. Skilled people on reasonable wages or rates. Swarming. All for one, one for all. Then away. Reminisce about the good times. Spend good patient time percolating a sequel. Or an offshoot. Let’s hang out more. No, not all time is charged. Only the intentional stuff is. And if so. Hold it lightly. Amazingly there is probably enough money to go around. What a privilege. Especially these days.
We were chatting with Max Cooke a few weeks ago - the culture around doing sessions among writers and musicians feels exciting, generative and kind. Feel your way into it. Yeah, a usual session is 6hrs. But if you are onto a winner stick it out till midnight.
Anyway. Starting to feel like we know what a full team looks like. Missing a couple of skills. We know what good play looks like. We need a pre-season. And perhaps a couple of seasons. But we are good. And we will be better. And knowing that? That’s niiiice.
EF
Series 2 - Episode 2 - Slow burn
Three months later, all the biggish live projects are closed off. Former clients say, “I’d introduce you to so-and-so at so-and-so, but I can’t, because your website’s shit”.
So that’s what we’re doing, making a less shit website. Business-wise, we’re in a limbo bit where the cashflow forecaster (big ups Float, thanks Andy for the recommendation) suggests that current confirmed projects mean we’re dead in January and no sooner. (The advantage of no real overheads in the internet-era; our biggest fixed cost is our accountant (worth every penny).) There’s work booked, no panic, so there’s time to invest in making some internet.
Like every company that does anything to do with websites that I’ve ever been involved with, making our own website feels way harder than doing it for clients. All distraction and anxiety over trying to say things about ourselves that really, someone else should be saying instead. The New Forest Off-Road Club don’t call themselves ‘inclusive’, because that’s a value judgement, not a fact. Who are we to say we’re compassionate?
Some things we’ve been nudged on in the past month while we noodle on it all: “Pick your target audience” “Who are your users?” “What’s our relative positioning?”
After a bit of hand wringing over positioning, I re-read Tom Critchlow’s post on ‘a map for indie living’: “Anytime you think you want to craft a tight positioning statement, instead of putting it on your homepage as “I do X for Y’’ instead write a 2,000 word blogpost about “How I do X for Y”.” There is no pithy line - as far as I can work out - that bridges the gaps between doing technology consulting for fintechs and org design for social housing organisations and service design for local authorities and simply expressing ourselves for the sake of expressing ourselves.
So: we need to lean into the nuance, tell the stories of the work, show the links and the joins, and stop trying to box ourselves into lines of X for Y. Show we’re competent. (And we’re available.) We’re a studio of two, and a year or so into working together - there’s no positioning that encapsulates the work we’ve done, or really the work we enjoy doing either. We just want people who see it to go, oh look, they’ve been doing some cool / interesting / hard stuff.
When I rented a desk from Wichita Recordings in 2007-2008, they put out records by Simian Mobile Disco and Euros Childs in the same year. What was that positioning? No idea. Stuff they liked, thought was good, thought other people might enjoy too. No hand wringing. Just records.
Final aside - Discord feels like the best thing we’ve done so far. A nice crew chatting gardening and computers. Drop us a note back if you want an invite, and we can make sure to introduce you to everyone.
AG
Series 2 - Episode 1 - Resolution
Went to London the other day. 7.30am train from Brighton. 20 minutes late. Standard. Maybe it was always true that we were all distributed - and I was just living a jammy zone 2 lifestyle - but since lockdowns it feels like, even though the ambience and serendipity you get in London is still there when I’m there, 80% of people aren’t around 80% of the time. Including me. Sure, last week I still randomly bumped into my sister-in-law in a coffee shop while I was catching up with Kuba, had lunch with Will, saw someone I’ve DM’d on Instagram while I was having lunch. Just doesn’t feel the same when those plans or serendipities don’t pile on top of each other every single day of the week. Makes for a good year when you get a streak.
Anyway. It’s not a coincidence that I started writing this the day after Look mum no hands! announced they were closing down.
We have people working on ff.studio projects in Brighton, London, Madrid, Manchester and Porto. So it’s not that we have office ambience, who wants a cup of tea, who’s chatting at whose desk and is it good or interesting enough chat to go and join in on. Slack, let’s be realistic, still encourages 1:1 or many:many conversations, rather than 2:do I wanna go hang out with them? And the extra interaction layer in “Shall we chat, here’s a Google Meet link I just made, see you there” in our Signal groups worked well enough, for a bit, but it’s not like anyone else can see you hanging out and decide to come join you (“made you a tea. What’s going on?”). So we’ve been trying out an ff.studio Discord, our own private neighbourhood as Matt Webb would put it. Feels like the closest we’ve got to ambient interaction in a remote world so far (pop into a voice channel just to say hey). Especially now that Twitter’s become quite so dry. Come and hang out if you want to. The joy of the work is the people. This ain’t the down, it’s the upbeat.
This is series 2, now. The other thing we did last week was start a company. Two directors, equal shareholdings. Soundcheck over. Anyone got any work?
AG
Series 1 - episode 4 - Instinct
Eyes where we wanna go, let’s go there.
I’ve had a mad 6 weeks. Staring down the barrel of a cash flow squeeze is fun. Two businesses and two cashflows make for really leaning into the “trust me” part of “trust me, let’s go on an adventure”.
Work has kicked off. The odd bit between everyone knowing what they are doing, your calendar exploding into pieces, and the first invoices being sent out. It feels a bit like alchemy. I’m pretty sure we can turn this random collection of materials into gold. But, shieeet. Be nice to see some gold soon.
Robin Sloan’s New Avenues has been doing the rounds. It’s absolutely lush. I wrote to Anna early on about how the industry feels to me at the minute. I look at stuff and think, is this really it?
At times the last few years have felt like pushing through a crowd at a festival that is going to a bigger stage to see a well-established band, but I’m cutting through them to go to another stage with a band that makes me feel more alive.
I feel confident as this is how I felt in 2007. Waves come and rise over 15 years. UCD, in its current guise, got productised and commodified. That’s great. It’s got democratised and mainstreamed. Power to everyone’s elbow. Some days I want to revel in the classics. But mostly, I hate the feeling of nostalgia. Let’s push things forward. It’s what I’m good at. Remain endlessly curious, hopeful and confident.
But honestly, my mind is elsewhere. The Venn of work and life has been a circle for a long while. Probably unhealthily so. But again. That is where I’m at. Every time I go to take a shot, something random snaps at my ankles like an angry small dog. C’mon world. Can I just catch my breath and focus on one thing at a time?
I’m surrounded by good people who I love. When life yanks me in all directions, I can fall into their arms. When I’m slightly spun about and can’t get my bearings, I look at the people around me and simply go in the direction they point.
I will come up for air eventually, and having trusted the people around me, I know I will end up nearer where we want to go.
Look after each other. It’s nicer that way.
Peace
EF